Effinfunny Blog of Death

Cashing in on an emotional moment, Presidential nominee, Hillary Clinton has now started crying at the end of every speech, debate or anywhere there is a camera. Sources tell Effinfunny that Clinton has now installed ‘Insta-Ducts’, which are high-powered tear ducts that can be triggered with the push of a button. “She saw the surge of support when she cried.â€? Said a Clinton staffer who wish to remain anonymous. Betty Fetters continued. “She she’ll be damned if Obama or Edwards try to take away which is inherently a woman’s strength and that is being emotional and constantly breaking down into tears.”

3 days after a hostage standoff at a Hillary Clinton Presidential campaign office ended peacefully in New Hampshire, a fashion designer in New York took several of Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits hostage. “Show some leg, Hillary. Don’t be afraid to show a little sass.â€? Guy Blanche yelled out the window of his chic Manhattan loft as he held a pair of scissors to Hillary’s Ann Taylor pantsuit. SWAT team snipers at 12 PM, shot Guy who died immediately. In the process, one pantsuit was lost. After the standoff, SWAT team Captain Raymond Eisenberg made this comment. “If Hillary meets Guy’s demands and started wearing dresses or skirts, this could’ve gotten real ugly, real quick. We may have lost a pantsuit, but the greater good was not seeing Hillary Clinton’s thick and meaty calves. I think we can all agree we won that.”