Effinfunny Blog of Death

Despite having black skin and a really black name, Barack Obama, who is a black man running for President, won the Iowa caucuses on Thursday surprising the nation. “I can’t believe it, we are stunned.� Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton said after the loss. “I mean, I’m a woman, that is bad enough, but that poor man is black with black skin. He really showed that being cursed since birth won’t set you back forever.� Mr. Obama was just as surprised. “People know I’m black, right? I mean I am B-l-a-c-k. Ok, I guess so, let’s go with it.�

Kenya, usually a pretty mild mannered African country, has been mired in ethnic violence over the weekend with scores of people being shot, hacked, burned, or beaten to death. While most thought the violence would quell after a short time, rioters have shown their marathon like endurance and have been rioting at a strong, steady pace. During the riots, most will not even stop for food, and will only grab some water and perhaps a banana or trail mix while burning a church or beating a child. “This is one of the drawbacks of having a country full of marathon runners.� New Presiden Mwai Kibaki said during a press conference. President Kibaki pleaded with his nation to quell the violence. “For God’s sake people, quit standing on the side and giving them cups of Gatorade, you are not helping.�