Effinfunny Blog of Death

Thinking that he was going to score major points with his date, Ryan Hall was a bit confused when his date, Teresa Kent, was upset he had taken her to TGI Friday’s for their first date. “I don’t get it, man.� Said Hall. “The commercial made it look like this was a hip place and the food was fantastic. But the food sucks and she’s pissed.� Ms. Kent said that based on the first date, she would not accept a second date. “Who takes someone to Friday’s? What a cheesedick. This place is so annoying. There’s kids in back of me screaming and pulling my hair. What a nightmare.�

Californians beware. If you are even thinking about sex in the workplace, you could be sexually harassing someone. California has now revised the Sexual Harassment Policy to thoughts of sex inside an office now being considered harassment. “Everyone knows that thought is before action.� Said Policy maker Sarah Plummer. “And we figured that we could be heading off action at the pass, so to speak.� The updated policy has already affected many employees all across California. Julie Parker won a recent case after a co-worker thought of sex near her. “I said to Ted that we should really ‘nail’ this report. After that, I saw him look away, I just knew he was thinking was about sex. I was so disgusted and offended, so I reported him to HR immediately.�

Severe debt, no friends, little family and what family he did have, he didn’t like, bad job, no career opportunities, poor living conditions, terrible diet, bad shape, no significant other, and a general bad disposition proved to be pretty good reasons for Culver City resident Elvin Winslow to commit suicide on Sunday. “I looked over Mr. Winslow’s suicide note and thought that he made a good case for killing himself.� Detective William Madison said at Mr. Winslow’s residence. “I think anyone with in a similar situation would and should do the same. His reasoning is what I would call a ‘slam dunk.’�

Al Gore is playing tease with Democrats who are pleading Al Gore to give them a little Presidential action. “My hopes are blue.� Said Andrew Bonner, a registered Democrat. “He’s playing the innocent, ‘I’m so coy’ game, he knows exactly what he’s doing, what a little bitch.� Many Democrats feel the same about Gore.
“You can only tease the people so long, then they lose interest and tell their friends about him.” Said David Heathe, a longtime Democrat. “But no matter what, I would take a little Al Gore action over a lot of Hillary Clinton action.â€?

Jerry LaFarr is jealous by the attention that his wife, Karen has been getting since being diagnosed with terminal cancer. “I know she’s got cancer and all that, but I’m doing stuff too.� Jay said outside a West Hollywood hospice. “I just started playing in a new cover band with my neighbor and we’re really good. But all anyone cares about is Karen this and Karen that.�

Venice, California resident Tony Fryman hopes the CD mix he made will win Lindsay Holdman’s heart. “I’ve got all types of stuff on there.� Tony said during a recent interview. “I’ve got some Sufjan Stevens on there, some Van Morrison, some Beatles and Norah Jones. After she listens to this, she’ll think I’m the man and also that I have a sensitive side.� Fryman said it took him nearly all night to finish the mix. “I was second guessing some of my choices. But I went with my gut feeling in the end. God, I hope this works. I hope it makes her want me.�

Well, I am here to review Facebook, a great new social networking website. Nice. A Sleek design and it seems very user friendly. This seems to be like a cleaned up version of MySpace. Oh, and an ex-girlfriend wants to be ‘friends’. I wonder what she is doing nowadays. I wonder if she is seeing someone else, if she is happy now, if she dyed her hair back to brown. Thanks to Facebook, I can see all the gruesome details. Eh, and according to this update, she’s got some pictures of the new guy in her life…Together, looking really happy. Great. Just great. That is…Awesome. Well, I feel better about myself…God, Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Ya know?…I hate the Internet. Fucking shit. You know what? The hell with her and the hell with Facebook. This site blows.