Effinfunny Blog of Death

Effinfunny Amigo -PAPER AIRPLANE, a fantastico band out of Ohio, have just released their latest album, MIDDLEMARCH. After listening to the album (I got an advanced copy. That is right, people send me advanced copies) I was saying things like, 'Whoa', 'sweet', 'rad', 'no way', 'I now see the purpose of life'.
You, as a sensible human being who wants to find the meaning of life*, should buy the album!

click here!!!!

Paper Airplane and Effinfunny thank you.

*Finding the meaning of life may vary from listener to listener. Offer not valid in Guam, Puerto Rico and Oklahoma.

Effinfunny comic and the man with the best eyelashes in the biz needs your vote!

click here!!!!

The contest/voting ends on Sunday - so check it out soon. If you want to vote, you have to register in the upper right hand corner of the site.

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.”
-Mel Brooks

It is time to play America’s favorite guessing game.
You will see if Effinfunny Comic, Rick Mitchell, is Jewish or not.
Here are your clues:
-Rick has curly hair
-Rick was born on the east coast.
-Rick’s last name is Mitchell
-Rick’s mother was born in New York.
-Rick’s father lived and worked in New York for many years.
-Rick’s father is a lawyer
-Rick is on JDate.com
-Rick’s favorite food is Italian
-Rick is in therapy
-Rick enjoys some Christian music
-Rick is in entertainment
-Rick’s favorite movie is Annie Hall
-Rick doesn’t like Germans.

VS.

Myanmur Army expected to roll during Championship Protests.

Yangon, Burma- The Championship Protest between the Buddhist Monks and the Myanmur army is set for Thursday. The match-up is predicted to get lower than average ratings with the Burmese army expecting to win the protest easily.
The Myanmur Government had banned all public gatherings of more than five people and imposed a nighttime curfew following eight days of anti- government marches led by monks in Yangon and other areas of the country, including the largest in nearly two decades.
“We’re going to take it one baton blow at a time. We’ve got a great police force, the latest riot gear and we’ve been practicing really hard. ”
Vegas Oddsmakers have given the Monks a 1-100000 shot of winning.
“Those monks are gonna get steamrolled.” Said World famous bookie Rick “The Greek” Mitchell. “Betting on those monks is like betting on the Washington Senators versus the Harlem Globetrotters. It’s dumb. It makes no sense. But you never know, it could be a classic Cinderella story reincarnated. That is why we have the protest.”
Also not helping the Monks is Buddhist Team Captain, Hoy Myoonaya, is out also with a torn ACL. Myooonaya was reflective after the injury.
“It is the way of the Buddha. We cannot hold onto the physical world, but this knee injury couldn’t have happened at a worse time.”
Burmese Government Fans are brimming with confidence. “They better have a great running game, because when we start firing those rubber bullets, they’ll be running out of their fruity little sandals.”

Hey people in LA- come see this show- and if you already did, tell
somebody.
Sketch comedy starring Effinfunny comedian’s Sean Conroy and Eddie Pepitone.

JOURNEY TO THE ASSCRACK OF THE EARTH

Becks and Posh have finally moved to LA, and honestly, they don’t love
it. Al and Agnes have been together for 25 years, and need to find a
way to sex. Tank Leather hates baseball, but loves trivia. The
Mozzarella Family doesn’t like to be interrupted while watching TV.
Also, the French are just over the horizon.

Written and directed by Sean Conroy.

This Thursday, September 27 @ 8pm

Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
5919 Franklin Ave. LA, CA
Reservations & info: ucbtheater.com
$5

Iranian Leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was invited to blog for Effinfunny.com:

“Dearest Infidel American Propaganda Website Viewers,
Thank you for letting me blog on your blog. You are all devils. Being the leader of Iran, I have come under the fire from your media about some comments about the Holocaust. Well, I am here to say that not only the holocaust never happened, but history has never happened. That all of time is just an illusion and really there is only the here and now and the past and future are happening simultaneously. I really hope that has cleared things up, you evil war machine nation, you. Now with that out of the way, do you think I could get to meet Britney Spears? I know she is on the decline, much like Western Civilization, but still, I really like her work. I really hope she will tour and come to Tehran. Granted, we will have to jail her, but really I think she would enjoy Iran. LOL! Well, I am off to be protested somewhere by someone. Such is life, it pays the bills. If anyone has any good cheat codes for Halo 3, please send them over.
Ta ta for now,
Mahmoud

After the UAW decide to go on strike against General Motors, people who drive cars made by General Motors are also calling for a strike to never buy another GM car.
“What a piece of shit.� Said GM car owner Rick Mitchell. “I own a Pontiac Sunfire. I call it the Shitfire. Because if I shit fire, it would look and operate much like my Pontiac Sunfire.�
Anger over GM seemed to be at the forefront of many concerned citizens.
“They make the Hummer. Did you know that?� Los Angeles resident Sean Conroy pointed out. “That is the most obnoxious monstrosity driven by the most obnoxious people. What douche bags…GM and Hummer drivers.�
Silver Lake resident Leah Mann has been angry at GM’s lack of commitment to increasing Fuel efficiency. “They are bringing back the Camaro…Christ, they can’t respond to the demands of people calling for Hybrid, Hydrogen or just better MPG’s but one yokel whines that there isn’t enough white trash variety in the car market, and wham, here comes that pile of crap squealing out of the showroom with Poison blaring from the moon roof.�
I drive a Chevy. Please shoot me.� Cavalier owner Tony Janning begged. “And could they please get rid of the ‘Like a Rock’ campaign in the next 100 years. I hate Bob Seger as it is. Somehow I feel responsible for it.�
GM officials had no comment on the strike but encouraged GM owners to look at the 2008 Pontiac Atzec.

Work Type: Full Time
Location: Iraq
Description: North Carolina based company, Blackwater USA, seeks Mercenary without a conscience. Prior leadership exp. needed. Proficient in the use of small arms fire and shooting into crowds filled with women and children.
Benefits: 401(k) plan, Civilian target practice, Paid Holidays.
Fax resume: 252.435.2539